Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité

One thing about having many strings cut at once is that you find yourself with much more liberty than you bargained for. While the opportunity to reclaim what had previously been lost is very exciting, it also seems to bring new anxieties out of the closet about who I am as a person, and if i'm growing or heading in any sort of commendable direction. Much of this personal exploration leaves me feeling like an enlightenment thinker in Revolutionary France. Some might find this feeling poetically intellectual, but I find it irritating. I'm not 13 anymore, and I should be a little more grounded any philosophies I have regarding my self.

I read once that although some people take the appearance of their 'inner child' as a sign of weakness or cowardice, that this entity should probably be given the most power to govern within yourself. Your inner child is the most unadulterated form of who you are, what you desire, how you should conduct yourself, etc. This evening I'm doing my best to listen to my inner child and come to terms with myself.
When I was young, I got anxious a lot. But one nice thing was that I never allowed myself to get backed into a corner. The negativity was always vanquished, the positives were always brought out, and the self-affirmation was never far from reach. I was always content to be myself and do as I chose. Now I feel embarrassed or ashamed of what I would choose to do, as if it's not substantial enough. I should have more to show, but am I using the right criteria? I know I'm not but I can't help myself.
I used to make art, I used to make music, I used to make laughter, I used to make things happen, I used to make myself untouchable, I used to make ordinary into extraordinary. I used to make beautiful things, or at least I thought so.
Now everything looks ugly, and try as I might, they don't look the way I'd like them to. This is by no means a dismal outlook on things, it's just the truth.
I feel as if I need more time to re-grow whatever's been rotting off, but I can't find the time. No time.